“Free” Coffee from Playa Analytica: Camp Nose Fish at Burning Man 2018

At Burning Man 2018 (in tune with the event’s “I, Robot” theme of automatons and AI) Camp Nose Fish offered “free” morning coffee to all Burning Man citizens, brought to you by Playa Analytica:

Thirsty, tired burner customers attracted by our large “free coffee” sign or our street barkers are immediately handed a pen and a clipboard with a New Account Signup Form, a necessary step for their own benefit and protection in order to get their free coffee.

The forms, each different, give customers an opportunity to share with us a wide variety of personal, private information and include bar-codes and long disclaimers in tiny print.  Examples (click to zoom):

Customers then notice that they are surrounded by a variety of friendly Playa Analytica-branded decor, including blinking video cameras capturing their image from multiple angles, and inspiring, heart-felt reminders that will help them stay connected and help make the world a better place:

Finally, when customers have completed their New Account Signup Form, they insert it into our AI Coffee Robot, which analyzes their complete personality profile and determines which type of coffee is best for them: Espresso, Cappuccino, Latte, Macchiato, and Playa Black (click to zoom):

Playa Black, strangely enough, seems to be a extremely common choice, but we are sure the AI has our customers’ best interests in mind.

Occasionally, customers waiting in line are offered biscotti to dip in their coffee, however in order to accept the biscotti, they must first consent to our Cookie Policy (which has recently changed) and receive our verification stamp on the body part of their choosing:

On their way into Playa Analytica’s coffee service area, some customers may have noticed a helpful box with a slot on top showing just how far Playa Analytica is willing to go in order to protect their safety and privacy:

On the way out, customers may also notice a completely different box showing some of the beneficial customer services that Playa Analytica offers:

To ensure customer data security, Playa Analytica staff are all clearly identified by their employee Access Cards (click to zoom):

Overall, our customers really benefited from the safe, sharing environment fostered by Playa Analytica.  By learning so much about our customers, we were really able to help serve them the best coffee possible, and really improve their lives by helping them connect to friends and family and offering them all the products and services they want and need.  We are truly helping to make the world a better place.